I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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