Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
