Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
