Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
