he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
