u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
