i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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