Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
its not stalking. its research.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
