Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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