I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
