I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize