This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
i now understand why vodka
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
