It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
