if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
