where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
