Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
