I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
