my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
