He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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