and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
