you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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