She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
