i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
