She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
