got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
