you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
