oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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