Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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