who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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