Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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