i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
