the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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