my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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