you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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