please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
