As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
