Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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