Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
