i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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