The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
