I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
