I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
