i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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