The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
