woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
