He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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