Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
