if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
