He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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