You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
