very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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