A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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