he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize