More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
