Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
