Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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