scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
