u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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