i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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