Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
