NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
