The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
