Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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