somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
